Post by Trevor on Feb 25, 2011 13:17:50 GMT
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. She was somewhat upset.
"You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me? Faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce!
And the husband replied "Hang on just a minute, love, so at least I can tell you what happened."
"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, "but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"
So, the husband began: "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady asked me for a lift. She looked so down-and-out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you've had for a few years, but don't use because you say they're too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the pretty blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same"
The husband took a quick breath and continued - "She was really grateful for my understanding and help., and, as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,
"Please ,do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"
"You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me? Faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce!
And the husband replied "Hang on just a minute, love, so at least I can tell you what happened."
"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, "but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"
So, the husband began: "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady asked me for a lift. She looked so down-and-out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you've had for a few years, but don't use because you say they're too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the pretty blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same"
The husband took a quick breath and continued - "She was really grateful for my understanding and help., and, as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,
"Please ,do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"